It’s been a busy week, and Thursday was the first day of the week I’ve been able to get up the bike.
Following on from Sunday’s session, I had earmarked Tuesday, which turned into Wednesday, which turned into Thursday meaning it was do-or-die on the target front. So what do you do when your intention is to get up for a handy spin, fresh in from a walk with the hound? Go against your preference for a 30-minute session and instead pull, for whatever reason, the 55-minute session that includes two FTP blocks at 15 minutes each.
As it happens, I didn’t die. However, left alone with your thoughts, your heart starting to pound and a growing pool of sweat on the wooden floor beneath me, you begin to realise that cycling is as much in the head as it is in the body.
Maybe I’m underestimating myself, maybe it’s an underestimation of current conditioning and energy levels, or maybe it was just muscle memory kicking in but I’ve no real idea how I’ve just managed to knock out the bones of an hour, including a half hour at what was my most recent FTP posting (about 190W or 1.9w/KG), in a small room, no fan, positively drowned in sweat. It’s a glorious image to be fair.
The way this particular session works is fun; you’ve got a 10-minute warmup that brings me from around 70W up to 140W, then a leap to 190W for 15 minutes at 90-100RPM for cadence. In my case, I had up-shifted to drive the legs so cranked out the power at closer to 75-80RPM. When I get to the end of the 15-minute block, I’m expecting a 5-minute cooldown and that would be in line with my patterns of late – take roughly a half hour, get in, get out and go again later in the week. However, the cooldown block doesn’t exactly bring you back to ground zero, keeps the heart rate somewhat elevated before going into a second FTP block, and it’s that block where the mental games begin.
The temptation is there to just stop, may as well be honest about it. “Sure there’s 30 minutes done, that’ll be enough”, I thought. Then I’m watching the timer, 15 minutes to go becomes 14 minutes, then becomes 13 minutes. I’m concentrating on breathing through my nose, keeping my heart rate steady if not trying to actually lower it a few beats in the process. 13 minutes, 12, 11. “There’s another five minutes in the bag, that’ll do”. I’ve to shift in the saddle and my cadence slips. Back up to power, now I’m starting to feel it in the legs. The room is on fire. I’d trade a whole lot for a few minutes of a fresh breeze. Not a hope I’m getting through this. It’s late, I’m tired, I was working until 2am and I’ve been on the go since 6am and we’re approaching 10pm as it is.
Ten minutes remaining becomes five, and I”ve still got another cooldown block to go, meaning there’s still ten minutes to go. Why am I doing this to myself? Time to assess.
Am I breathing ok? I think I’ve got it under control. Are my legs screaming at me? It seems like like. Can I give it another 30 seconds? Sure. Could I go another 30 seconds after that? I think so. It’s one step at a time. When everything is telling you to stop and you feel your body starting to fight with your head, that’s where the games begin. Self-doubt starts to creep in (at least initially) plus I’ve got the safety net of just being at home, a metre from the couch on a virtual bike setup so it’s not like I have to cycle 20 miles to get home.
But I persist, I drive on, I count down the seconds, fight for three minutes, then two, then the final 60 seconds, and I’m done. I roar, out of stiffness and frustration more so, when the cooldown period begins but I complete the session. I can barely walk, I feel like I’ve lost about ten litres of water through pure sweat, even my lips taste salty. But we’re done, I get to write a few paragraphs and I live to tell the tale.
I have motivation, I shouldn’t need the safety net. Next time will be better.
So why then can a physical workout be so mentally taxing?
When pushing yourself, it’s all too common to experience self-doubt and mental resistance. I remember this well from my early BJJ days (we’re going back seven or eight years at this stage, as it’s been nearly five since I’ve been on the mats). Those longer rolls, sheer physical exhaustion, the mental battle of figuring out how to manipulate your opponent while not having manipulated yourself in the process. But you train, you learn, you adapt, you train again, learn some more, adapt again.
In the moment, thoughts like ‘I can’t do this’ or ‘this is too hard’ can be overwhelming and can lead to a real mental barrier. It’s dealing with those negative thoughts that can be mentally draining, sapping the energy you need for the physical work, reducing your motivation and making the physical work all the harder.
Away from BJJ, my base for this journey’s intensive workouts is in cycling, and tonight’s session was taxing. I know it won’t be AS taxing in the future, but it was taxing nonetheless. Any intense exercise or high-level exercise or sport requires a few things, in particular sustained focus and concentration, whether it’s maintaining proper form, tracking your progress, or staying aware of your surroundings. In my case, I’m concentrating on breathing through my nose, watching the screen as my heart rate rises and falls, keeping my power up, keeping my legs spinning to a certain cadence, watching my grip, my shoulders, how I drive my legs, my positioning on the bike. Better form, and better function, but it’s a lot to keep an eye on all the time when all you really want to do is pedal away on the bike for an hour.
On a third point, look at long-distance cycling or running. Tonight’s session brought me from 30 to 60 minutes. About ten or twelve years ago, I was able to go for the bones of four hours when you factored in a ten-minute break every 20km or so. Even the leap from 30 to 60 was big, never mind two hours or three hours or more. Similarly for runners, while I can just about manage a 5km run, I admire the mental resilience it takes to hit a marathon, whatever about ultra runners. The mental fatigue that’s a possibility from the boredom, monotony can make it harder to push through, even if your body is physically capable of doing it.
While physical exertion is a clear aspect of exercise, the mental challenges can be even more demanding. Overcoming self-doubt, maintaining focus, dealing with boredom, regulating emotions, and staying motivated all require significant mental effort, often making the overall experience more mentally taxing than physically exhausting. Thankfully, in this early stage, I’ve still got motivation on my side so I’ll drive on, we’ll go again, and maybe the longer and more intense sessions will become a regular thing.
Now it’s time for some physical, and mental, rest.
